A mess.

————

Does the paper still written “stay” ?

Yes

Did i do something about it?

No, not anymore

Im tired.

Can i take a rest on your place one more time?

Just like the old time i escaping everything in my life

You wouldn’t hear me

You wouldn’t trust me

Eventho i talk in every languages i could

Over reality i did

Also in every tone you could hear

Come!

Wanna see around one more time?

Or just take a look from outside

You wouldn’t like it

Its all messier here

How could i clean this mess up 

When everything i touch is scattered?

A month has passed

And the pictures still there

Sounds obsessed?

I don’t know

Call me crazy i don’t mind

My mom used to called me that anyway

No one ever stay for too long

And this time i really not ready for this

I’ve never been ready

Trying so hard to hold whatever this called

While i knew you’ll leave one day

I can’t promise everything gonna be always right

But i promise you i’m trying hardly to be better

But…

Time pushed me to stop

Tied me to not having another step

Locked my soul behind

On the memories that keep rewinding itself

Back to the time when i was in your car,

Rainy evening, in the parking lot,

Three words that makes me cry a bunch and smile the brightest

Should i try one more time?

It could be a massive mess

At least for me

Seeing you in the present is enough

Yet i couldn’t even have it

Eventho we won’t having any future waits

So what are we doing?

I’m toxic for wanting you only for myself

While you didn’t even think its worthy enough to continue

Wasting your precious time over a mess

You said love is not like a light switch

That you can turn it off when you didn’t want it

But it switching off now and i couldn’t switch it back

And i also don’t know if you could hear this

But from the bottom of my heart,

For all the things that scattered and tears apart,

For another mirth that creates amorous moment that turns into nightmare you couldn’t erase like your galleries

For all the hurts that we feel

I’m so sorry

And im sorry for being a mess

Your mess

That couldn’t escape from the thing called ‘memories’

Andin, 29th June 2023