Things i love the most but lost.

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Have i told you i love morning zephyr?

It carries a tenderness of hope, creating all harmony to a new beginning to embrace in optimism. My favorite before you take the throne of things i love the most.

I love morning walk. Birds chirping, sun shining without eyes hurting, petrichor hanging in the air, and the calmness of morning zephyr when passing through your whole. But now i know! It feels way more better when there is you in every details of it. Turning my page of life into a tape record of yours from my perspective. I ain’t complaining.

I was all agog as i sat there during my time of morning walk, longing for the sound of a bicycle of yours getting closer. The excitement leave my languor behind, questioning why i can be so limerence towards you.

And it was a folly if i recall what happened next. A phantasmal memories follows me all over the place and it hits me hard to the point it changes me into a dawdler. Traumatized. And i knew it given the same exact amount of agony to you, or maybe more. You were my home while i was only a rotten grass in your garden.

Even some saying been spoken : “a pain from the past will not last forever, it will dwindle away”. So my question is “when? Just when?!”. Clock are tickling and i keep trying to gallivanting around to find myself lost. Bemused by my own. 

Go laugh it out loud, i’ll do it later when i got my insanity back to where it should. Because when you lost something, its not only one thing that taken out from your life. It is also the habit you had from the moment started when you met a good to your bad.

Vigilant feeling bloomed to your daily and the vistages of their presence when they were here cast a spell rent free on your mind. Every scents you snuff, unplanned plans you wrote, places you went, histories on your google maps, rooted deeply. Haunted you perpetually. The enigma that forever be unfolded.

Andin, 12th July 2023.