You, My Thoughts & My Self

——-

Hey

It took a decade to realized this

But i think.. i didnt miss you

I miss myself

Who literally shines when i’m happy

Who could having a good cry

And let the feeling out whatever it is

I miss the figure

that randomly saying im pretty

yet still trust deeply

Which is, it was myself

And what i always did, 

long time ago when i was in my happy term

I miss the figure who look me in the eyes

Seeing through the feeling

Read all the emotions

Listen all the thoughts in mind

Which is, it was me, myself

And what i used to do often infront of the mirrors everyday but no longer did

Im tired of talking

But i can’t stand when circumtances being stuck

Or anyone feel ignored

Because i knew how bad it feels

So i won’t stop talking & forget my tiredness

I miss being understood

I thought it was you,

But turns out it just reflections of the past me

in you, that i saw

Turns out I miss being treated nicely with my own self

I hate myself so much while i should be the one who love it the most

I lost myself once

I thought i found it when i met you

But i was wrong

I found it when im loosing you

I set you free

But how can i escape from your gravity?

But anyway,

thank you,

for helping me to find myself.

Am i allowed to be happy now? Please?

But just don’t take that happiness away again

Let me be happy with myself

Can you?

Andin, 06 Agustus 2023